i jus got word frum dr. daisy da curly cat dat mi howse iz too far fer her to get to in her stroller. derefore … she sent me da basic procedure fer matsui’z hoo-ha-echtomy. So … da followin iz my thursday thirteen … complimentz uv da grate dr. daisy …
12 stepz to follow fer mi noo brudder matsui’z hoo-ha-echtomy … an da dr. hoo will be performin da surgery (dis tt iz sumwut disturbin an iz not meant fer small children … )
1. a thorough presurgical examination is performed, paying particular attention to heart rate, rhythm, lung sounds an overall body condition (in da wordz uv dr. daisy … “this part should be fun!”)
2. presurgical blood tests may be performed to check the function of vital organs and the health of the cat.
3. a presurgical injection is administered to sedate matsui, to reduce his anxiety, and to all us to use less general anesthetic. (daisy sez “matsui should enjoy this drug, I think!”)
4. intravenous (iv) fluids are recommended during and following surgery, to promote a faster recovery, prevent shock, and to allow us to give matsui medication injections painlessly.
5. anesthesia is induced by inhalation through a mask. the patient is connected by the mask to the anesthetic machine, and the patient may also be connected to several monitors. the inhalant anesthetic we use is isoflurance, which is considered to be a very safe anesthetic.
6. matsui should be positioned and the surgical site is plucked and scrubbed (eee-owww) to make the area sterile.
7. the assistant (yerz troolee) continues to monitor matsui’s vital signs throughout the anesthetic.
8. two incisions are made on the scrotum. (daisy sez: “ouch” … i say “YIKES!”)
9. the testicles are pushed out through the incisions one at a time. (daisy sez “double ouch!” an i agree …)
10. the tissue is stripped from the testicle exposing the vasculature that provides blood to and from the testicle as well as the passageways for sperm. (daisy sez “i am feeling faint” … an i hav alreddee fainted, miself!)
11. the vasculature that connects the testicles to the body is tied an replaced into the body and the testicles are discarded. (dr. daisy wunderz if dey are thrown in da trash)
12. matsui is given an antibiotic injection as a prophylactic measure against infection. he may also be given an injection for pain control, which is repeated as necessary. (dr. daisy … hoo iz jus outta rehab fer catnip addicshun … sez “this part soundz good.”)
an #13 … da speshulist hoo will be performin dis proceedyer on mi noo brudder matsui …
dr. laffin an laffin squillion.
luv–yer grate frend–o’jete